Will you be my Valentine?

See original publication here.

Oh, those words! How many of you are secretly waiting for those words?

And, for those of you already in relationship, how many of you are waiting for your partner to swear their undying love for you on Valentine’s Day? Or, if you’ve been in relationship a long time, how many are desiring to bring back a little spice to the relationship through the rituals of Valentine’s Day?

Now, let’s flip the coin. How many of you vehemently hate the whole concept of Valentine’s day and think it’s just a Hallmark’s money making scheme?

Either way, whether you align and agree with the concepts of Valentine’s day, such as it being a celebration of love, or react to it and resist it by refusing to go out on the day and not buying any tokens of love on that day, it is not going to create greater — not greater relationships, nor a greater life and living.

What if you approached Valentine’s Day in a whole different way this year?

Yes, Valentine’s Day is just a day like any other day; and you can celebrate your love every single day of the year, every single year you are together. And, you can appreciate the fun and the romance of having a day of acknowledgement for love and lovers and exchange gifts as tokens of that if you desire to. You can also use that day to do something special for you if you are not in a relationship.

I don’t have a point of view either way. I am willing to celebrate Valentine’s day and go out to dinner and exchange gifts with my love; or not. I am willing to do it, because I enjoy all of those things; why would I resist what I love doing, any day of the year? And I am also willing not to, if it just doesn’t work for either one of us at that time. In fact, this year my husband won’t be in town for Valentine’s day, so there will be no celebrating with him on that day. However, I will do some special things for myself on the day, because when you acknowledge something, it grows. And, as I said, I enjoy all of those ‘trimmings’ that traditionally come with Valentine’s day, so I also love the idea of them to grow in my life and in my relationship.

In a conscious relationship, there is an awareness and an honoring of, and a respect for, the needs and desires of both yourself and your partner. Expectations, assumptions, judgments of what’s best, etc., all get in the way of true awareness.

Know where you are functioning from.

What limitations are you placing on you and your partner with your expectations about Valentine’s Day; about what it should and shouldn’t be and what it will and won’t provide for you? Instead be willing to know what works for you both.

When you notice yourself in reaction to Valentine’s Day, or aligning with and dreaming of all the romantic fantasies you’ve conjured in your head, stop. Instead ask, ‘what would be fun for me and my partner? If we were creating this day for us, what would we choose?’

Remain neutral.

Don’t go into judgment of yourself or anyone else for what you have become aware of, just notice it and go,

‘Interesting point of view I have this point of view.’ The more you repeat it the more you diffuse the charge on the judgment.

Know what you desire as your life; including your relationships.

Throw all the judgments and expectations that you catch yourself doing in regards to Valentine’s Day away, and ask yourself, “What do I truly desire?”, which might be flowers and romantic gestures; or not.

Then see what shows up; not just for this one day, but in your life in general. Because, when you focus on what you truly desire, rather than your box of expectations, whether that be for Valentine’s Day or anything else, you are creating your life; the way you desire it to be.

Carry this through to all areas of your life; and enjoy it!